EQ, Me and You

There are so many interesting aspects to Emotional Intelligence (EQ). When I first started learning about EQ I was skeptical as most of you may be. However, as I started to dig more into what EQ is all about and how a higher EQ can help one not just in their business life but personal life I began to explore my EQ more deeply. Perhaps some of the information I share in this post will resonate with your life and you will begin to consciously explore how you can expand your EQ.

Earlier this year I received my EQ certification through one of my strategic partners, TTI Success Insights. The one thing I would like to point out is that just because you can identify someone with high and low EQ in a minute, it doesn’t mean that you yourself will have the ability to modify your behavior when someone pushes your buttons. (Note the cold and hot thermometers in the picture above)

About a month ago my husband sensing a turn in the real estate market decided NOW would be the right time for us to put our house up for sale. The back story is that our house was very ready to be put on the market but I had not planned that this would take place until 2015. So you can imagine my surprise when the agents said our house is in perfect shape and my husband said great, in ten days it goes on the market. For the past month I have been an unwilling participant in this feeding frenzy of vulture real estate agents and multiple offers higher than the asking price. Needless to say my EQ went well out the window and continues to be challenged on a daily basis.

I site this very personal example to show that at any moment you and/or your employees can be triggered for your emotions to take over. If you are a leader and you are triggered but don’t take the few seconds to squelch the fire rushing to your head, you are liable to do more damage to your company and team than you realize. If your employee is on the phone with a client that pushes the wrong button and they don’t take the few seconds to control their emotions you are very likely to lose that customer as well as others the customer decides to vent to.

Because our bodies and brains are connected the more we can take the following steps to stop us from reacting to our triggers we will be more mentally and physically healthy.

Next time you feel yourself being triggered:

Stop – Before you do anything else, just stop for a few seconds.
Think – What is happening to me right now? Sweaty palms, hot face, closed throat?
Assess – What is the situation? What just triggered my sweaty palms, etc.?
Respond – Decide how you will respond. Most likely if you have gone through the previous steps you will not bite someone’s head off now.
Review – What just happened? What triggered me? How did I react? What would I do differently next time?

The reality is we can train ourselves to develop a higher EQ but we have to want to change. If you are tired of reacting and leaving devastation in your path I recommend starting to practice the five steps listed above. Your team, employees and customers will be much better for it.

As for me this past month has made me realize that I am still a work in progress!

If you would like more information about EQ you can check out these additional resources: